Even awkward silences are less awkward than these conversations, many of which can be easily prevented with a simple solar panel installation for your home.
5. The ‘Thermostat Wars’ Conversation
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Men and women comprising married couples across America will have their thermostat wars ‘until death do them apart.’ Although this is true for many reasons, we’ll zero-in on one reason here: resting body temperature.
Women’s resting body temperature is slightly lower than men’s, making for a greater tendency to turn up the hot water in the shower and the heat on the thermostat.
A significantly larger percentage of electricity bill costs come from heat sources in homes when compared to air conditioning. This means an anger-inducing electrical bill cost is most likely the result of extra water heater and heated ventilation usage.
Men, with warmer resting body temperatures and a socio-demographic tendency to manage family finances, will likely become frustrated after seeing the cost hike on a power bill when times are tight, especially since their resting body temperatures are more comfortable in homes with cool temperatures.
This effect does, however, reverse in the summertime. That’s when men become the greater energy users, scaling up on the air conditioning.
These tendencies are only magnified by the fact these arguments are most likely to occur when newlyweds are just getting used to living with each other in their new home. The power bill in a starter home with average energy is much higher than those in the kinds of apartment complexes in which single people have become so used to living, making for a stark and painful contrast in cost when moving into said starter home.
There you have it. The battlefield is set for an energy bill argument, and the myriad negative outcomes that come with it. ‘We found a mutual understanding in our heated argument about our power bill expenses last night,’ said nobody, ever (pun definitely intended).
Solar panels can prevent these problematic conversations and consequences, making a big portion of the energy you consume come from the sun, which doesn’t charge for its services. Turned up heaters, sunny skies, and argument-less evenings ahoy.
4. The ‘You Are Not the Father’ Conversation
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Gentleman, if you’ve made an attempt to scale back on energy consumption in your home because of big energy bill expenses, you’re unlikely to have a home in which your significant other will want to spend time, because it will probably be too cold for her liking (see point #10 above).
You may be charming, funny, and interesting, but room temperature sets the tone for everything that happens in that room, and cold temperatures instigate cold conversations. That, and it’s a bit harder to get your significant other into a birthday suit when it’s freezing cold inside your home (see point #10 again).
Sure, you can go out and leave the house with your mate, but that isn’t going to help her mood when you inevitably forget to turn the heater on before bedtime (because you have a Y chromosome and invariably forget important yet minute details), and your wife wakes up in the morning upset because she has to put freezing cold slippers on her even colder feet.
Unless you resolve room temperature issues with the right financial incentives and proper insulation, a lack of energy bill-reducing solar panels could put you in this precarious position.
If your spouse is out of the home and somewhere else (either because of the cold air or the arguments that ensue from power bill discussions), they’re not around you–the one who wanted to scale back on the power bill in the old-fashioned, dubiously un-sexy ‘I’m a dinosaur and refuse to change’ 19th century kind of way.
Yeah, right! My wife isn’t going to have kids with someone else because of a power bill debate, you say.
Yeah, well, that’s what they all say.
What’s more, This study also reveals that those who have solar-powered homes are more likely to be better lovers.
3. The ‘Now I’m going to Turn My Environmentally Conscious Nose Up at You’ Conversation
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If you have solar panels for your home, you’ll always have a weapon in your conversational arsenal for those who try to accuse you of being a bad person in general, but more specifically when it comes to the environmentally righteous.
Forget to do your recycling for a week and have a neighbor who is quick to criticize you about it? Simply point to the panels on your roof as he yells at you from across the street.
And, anytime a twenty-something who’s never had a real job yet is hell-bent on winning environmental arguments at every turn decides to question your commitment to the environment, you can simply retort with a, ‘No way, dude. I have solar panels on my roof. You trippin’.
This comes with a caveat, though: Given that the entire world can get all of its electricity through water, wind, and solar resources by 2030, people should be turning their nose up at you for relying on stuff to power your home that was most relevant when dinosaurs roamed the earth.
2. The ‘Your Parents Hate Me’ Conversation
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The biggest proponents of solar panels are those belonging to the demographic most likely to be sitting at a dinner table and judging you as a potential suitor for their offspring. That’s right, a baby boomer.
But you won’t be booming out any babies with their kids if you don’t see eye-to-eye on the things that matter to this generation, environmental consciousness being one of them (hence their interest in and use of solar panels).
If you aren’t environmentally conscious, you’re going to look like a dweeb; yet another millennial who is ruining the world with social media, loud music, and myriad professional failures.
1. The ‘Okay, I’ll Do What You Tell Me, Utility Company’ Conversation
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Sick of having to take punches from your utility company when calling to complain about inflated or inaccurate bills? Then just tell them you’re going to go solar.
The account representative on the other end of the line won’t care, but the CFO who manages the P&L statements when they see people abandoning them in droves for smarter, greener, cooler, and less annoying energy solutions definitely will.
Utilities companies hate solar installers, but they kind of have to work with us because we are taking over the world. Better yet, you can crank call them without any fear of retribution post solar panel installation.
Yeah, you’ll always get a power bill if you have a solar array on your roof, but it’ll be much, much lower. The sun doesn’t charge for its services despite it being way more awesome than the coal-based crud powering most homes today.